I'm past competing in pissing contests. My jet stream is now more of a trickle. The only contest I'd win is the number of trips to the bathroom it takes to purge a 32oz soda.

Brian MacLearn
Some Similar Quotes
  1. I have something I need to tell you, " he says. I run my fingers along the tendons in his hands and look back at him. "I might be in love with you." He smiles a little. "I'm waiting until I'm sure to tell you,... - Veronica Roth
  2. I love you like a fat kid loves cake! - Scott Adams
  3. Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess. - Lemony Snicket
  4. When God Created Mothers"When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel appeared and said. "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one." And God said, "Have you read the specs on this order?"... - Erma Bombeck
  5. And next time you're planning to injure yourself to get me attention, just remember that a little sweet talk works wonders. - Cassandra Clare
More Quotes By Brian MacLearn
  1. The greatest testament of a life lived is to be missed when you are gone. It is not something you can plan for or buy ahead of time. It is a sentiment that comes freely from the lives you touch in positive ways.
  2. Love isn't something to be given on whim, or shelved when it isn't convenient. Love is gift, a promise, and a belief in another person. If you treat it as such, it will fulfill you always
  3. If love is like driving a car, then I must be the worst driver in the world. I missed all the signs and ended up lost.
  4. The moment after being let go, when we can finally let it go, is the moment when love once again has hope.
  5. You can chase love. If you are lucky enough to catch it…is it really yours?
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